American Sentences 2006

What are American Sentences?

1.18.06 – At the Otter Café Sam says: Don’t try the sausage, it’s a little furry.

1.26.06 – Black jetta east on 16 license plate holder says: Can’t sleep, clowns will eat me.

2.02.06 – Northwest Groundhog pops out of his hole & sees forty more days of rain.

2.04.06 – Pop comes to town says: Your Mother keeps that place so cold you can hang meat.

2.15.06 – Do you remember the time when shoes lasted longer than shoelaces?

2.27.06 – In the dream some underwater haiku are in French & beyond me.

3.24.06 – You gotta be good to Cora I say – says she How will they know it’s me?

3.24.06 – At the bar she eats her hair – the jazz band plays You Don’t Know What Love Is.

3.26.06 – In Lakehead, California the old mannequin in the bathtub trick.

4.03.06 – They call him 9 Minute Murray no matter how long his poem is.

4.07.06 – Dead get stuck in yr throat in the fetal position causing you to write.

4.27.06 – Rule #6 – Never wake a sleeping man unless the room is on fire.

4.28.06 – He says: Life is a contest to see who can stay awake the longest.

5.02.06 – The café closed but: Restroom for paid customers only sign remains.

5.03.06 – She outgrows bedtime stories w/ assistance of her trusty I-Pod.

5.04.06 – Mad Thursday search for the green golf pencil nestled behind my right ear.

5.06.06 – Moonlight on the pillow or candlelight, nothing else beyond our bed.

5.07.06 – She waits in the back seat of the car this ghost in my late Sunday dream.

5.08.06 – I’m like totally gone from My Space forever – obliterated.

5.09.06 – A state patrolman gives us a jump begrudgingly – Officer Dick.

5.14.06 – She says: What kind of feedback lets you know people are listening? - Death threats.

5.18.06 – I bake falafel for the poetry idiots then get nada.

5.18.06 – Cottonwood down floats slow, betrays the location of bridge – spiderwebs!

5.20.06 – Carolyne says: I don’t know what to say and then she keeps on talking.

5.21.06 – Sam talks about the Medellin Zen lesson: Si, mañana.

5.22.06 – She tried to say: Yellow Chain Trees but ended up w/ Yellow Train Cheese.

5.25.06 – Official Bird of the Bush Administration – the chicken, now roosting.

6.06.06 – It’s hard for relatives to teach you things: computers, driving, sex.

6.10.06 – He sends me a picture of him in drag, I say Don’t quit your day gender.

6.19.06 – O tart universes of sour jowls! the season’s first cherry.

7.01.06 – Dad’s in the hospital today w/ a stroke – the mountain at sunset.

7.08.06 – After some Guaranteed Kill insecticide, one hornet looks for home.

7.09.06 – Harley I-5 south approaching Yelm exit license plate: HOGASM.

7.12.06 – Coolest thing on this July Wednesday night -the cat’s pads on my bare feet.

7.15.06 – Charlie can relate to my Pop’s stroke, says he’s going through aphasia.

7.16.06 – Eeeeew! what’s that smell, something’s gone bad – Austen says: I made pot stickers.

7.20.06 – Akio Takamori – a ceramic sphinx in need of a shave.

7.21.06 – She’s offered sex or Dash Point sunset, later Lady sings: The Man I Love.

7.24.06 – You were demonic today making love honey she says: Is that bad?

7.28.06 – Sam says his painting is not a guy on fire jumping off a cliff.

7.29.06 – You cant get a hangover from sake Sam tells me, green, on the couch.

7.30.06 – Our mantra learned outside Port Townsend at Kagean is Thank You Sam.

7.31.06 – They wanted one more July sentence, but you were busy organizing clouds.

8.01.06 – Mel Gibson drives drunk filled w/ hatred of Jews but he still loves Jesus.

8.01.06 – Everything is empty but some things are more empty than others.

8.04.06 – Best bumper sticker not yet see on a car: Save a Soldier, Ride a Bike.

8.05.06 – Pop, don’t they know the international symbol for too much? I guess not!

8.08.06 – Vijendra says compared to Fiji fingernails grow much faster here.

8.09.06 – Sam on Japanese women: I don’t think I want to sleep w/ your ancestors.

8.10.06 – Sam’s golf swing spectrum, from puke bucket to approximately perfect.

8.10.06 – On the baby madrone after paper skin is pulled away – tan lines.

8.12.06 – Endfest shirt: Please turn me over so I don’t choke on my own vomit.

8.24.06 – Acupuncture? Don’t the needles hurt said fed ex driver w/ pierced tongue.

8.25.06 – Mom says: Your Dad goes to a Chinese doctor and a cricket appears.

9.01.06 – Bucky said look at the North Star, you can feel the earth spin in your left foot.

9.02.06 – The trombone solo finishes to no applause – but someone flushes.

9.03.06 – After the stroke Barb shreds his child support checks from ’73.

9.11.06 – Victoria crow cleaning leaves from the gutter to find no dinner.

9.12.06 – Old crane fly, please die somewhere else so Sam can make this birdie putt.

9.14.06 – In my Thursday dreams I just can’t seem to fit in to the prison life.

9.15.06 – A vicious clown is going to eat out your heart at midnight. (RR)

9.20.06 – George said: “Tickets were only five dollars for people without butter.”

10.01.06 – She asked my secret for looking young >Oil of Olay? & chicharones.

10.02.06 – Perfectly natty – except for lint on the shirt, cat hair on the pockets.

10.03.06 – Cutest little rat infested B & B in Central Vancouver.

10.10.06 – Adelle Foley says about Jack: I wouldn’t fuck you for a chocolate!

10.15.06 – My Ma gets implants at 69 years old – now look at her smile!

10.15.06 – At 3 Andrew, ear to his Ma’s belly reports baby’s saying HELP!

10.15.06 – Mad at his mom Andrew says the terriers will eat the new baby.

10.16.06 – Grandma sneezes as adult sneeze & her implants fall out – weird Grandma.

10.18.06 – U of Margaritaville – her major: Salt Jigger Search & Rescue.

10.20.06 – At Binghamton’s San Miguel, steak topped w/ fried eggs and chili con crane.

10.22.06 – Reflection of my face in toilet water of Binghamton lockup.

10.23.06 – Binghamton baseball – swing w/ a red wine bottle, one strike & you’re out.

10.24.07 – At Broome County Jail get tube of Maximum Security Toothpaste.

10.27.06 – Linda shows her love says she tried to hook me up w/ a mob lawyer.

10.28.06 – If we fuck any more I’ll be firing blanks! – I don’t care if they’re blanks!

10.31.06 – Slaughter Halloween decorations – five ghosts praying over a stump.

11.02.06 – Len, keep your eyes crossed and he says Paul, keep your t’s dotted.

11.03.06 – Sam gets a gift a scrotum cactus – he’ll have to scratch it once in a while.

11.10.06 – A spam email says I can give my girlfriend A Sperm Fireworks.

11.15.06 – Words Rebecca should not say in debate class: gangster, Jew and douchebag.

11.16.06 – She sends email asking: What od you make ofthis - I respond: sapm.

11.24.06 – Anticipation – crows in the alley morning after Thanksgiving.

11.25.06 – As soon as I start going down on her, I know she’s dehydrated.

11.26.06 – Stuffed refrigerator jerry-rigged can leaves floor w/ a tuna shine.

11.29.06 – Email says: Take your award Mr. Smallest Weenie 2006.

12.03.06 – Old jockstrap, though I am flabby, your flabbiness can not be excused.

12.08.06 – After the reading, George kisses Robin, Robin says he’s a prick teaser.

12.10.06 – Dream speech offers competitors a medal they can chin on their pest.

12.13.06 – Adrian’s famous last words on the basketball court – I should have jumped.

12.14.06 – The dark morning room lights up w/ a biblical Tuscan sky – screen saver.

12.15.06 – Gray tells me about puffy sultan monkey pants of Denise Levertov.

12.15.06 – Chocolate macaroons – I’ve seen that look before honey – you weren’t eating.

12.17.06 – Port Townsend bumper sticker says Only YOU can stop narcissism.

12.20.06 – Get a Blue Willie shirt and ask if it’s Monica Lewinsky’s firm.

12.28.06 – The eternal flame, memory of fallen troops, warms pigeons.

12.30.06 – Life on the other side of the bullet hole’s a matter of timing.